Revamp

I have decided to revamp this blog. I'm going to change the name, change the layout, and change the theme all together. So, stay tuned!

The Country

A storm is rolling in. The wind has picked up, and the rain should be here tomorrow. This is the kind of weather that makes me miss living in the country. Thankfully, I am on vacation and so I am back in East Texas visiting my family. It's 1 am, and I am outside on the porch drinking tea. Yes I should be in bed, but there is nothing like being outside in the middle of the night in the country. The crickets are chirping, the wind is howling through the trees, and in the distance you can hear the train go by. A random car passes on the dark empty road, and you wonder who in the world is out at this time....because that's what you think about random cars at 1 am in the country. 

The biggest reason I love this time of night, is because you can see the stars in a way you just can't in the city. That is...at all. However, not many can be seen tonight due to how cloudy it is. Like I said, there is a storm blowing in. 

The stars always make me feel.....romantic. I mean, how great and amazing would it be to be held in someones arms as you gaze up at one of the most glorious things in nature....at least in my opinion. I know it's silly, but sometimes, when I am looking at the stars, I close my eyes and I can feel someones arms around me. Hearing their breathing in my ear, as they set their chin on my shoulder and squeeze me tight. Nothing is said, and nothing needs to be. The mere touch is enough to know how much they care for me. 

A 19 year old gay friend made a comment tonight, that he hates romantic movies because they remind him how utterly alone he is, and always will be. It hurts my heart to hear anyone, let alone a 19 year old, say something like that. I am almost 30, and I have had 1 boyfriend and it only lasted for a month. You would think that I would be more bitter than I am, but I refuse to give up on love. I know there is someone out there for me, that will love and cherish me as much as I will love and cherish him. I'm not saying it will be perfect, or even soon.....but it will happen. I will have my prince charming someday.

Ok, I my romantic rant is over. It's the country.....it always brings it out in me. But the truth is, moments like this are the ones that give me hope that someday, eventually, there WILL be someone there....and I will close my eyes in in gratification and love, rather than in hope and imagination.

Catch my breath

I thought I saw someone today. The likeness was....uncanny. For that split second before I realized it wasn't them, I couldn't breath, I felt my heart start to beat a thousand times in 1 second, and I remembered how I felt the first time I saw them. Just when you think you've moved on, or that you have dealt with it, something like this happens and reminds you that some things don't just go away. Some people will just always be able to take your breath away

Hatred, Love and Support

I don't understand hate. I don't understand why people hate to the point of causing harm, whether that's physical, emotional, or any other form. I mean, I understand not agreeing with someones values or beliefs, but to do so to the point of causing harm......I just don't get it.

I was recently watching a documentary about religion and homosexuality, during which they interviewed and pursued both sides of the argument. One side being that homosexuality is the path straight to hell, and the other being that we are still God's children, gay or straight, and he loves us all the same. Honestly, I was very impressed with this particular documentary's unbiased path. Anyway, during the interviews one "pastor"(I put this in quotations since it was his title, even though I feel he does NOT deserve to be called such) made the comment that all homosexuals should beaten to death, and their bodies disposed of the same way they were during World War II. Needless to say, I was shocked and appalled. How could anyone, let alone a "pastor", think such horrible things about another human being?

My heart breaks for people with so much anger in their hearts. People like that are one of the reasons so many teens, and even adults in the Gay community have taken, or even think of taking their lives. I was very blessed to grow up with knowing that, even though I didn't come out until my 20's, my family loved me and would stand by me all of my life. Because of them, especially my mother, I can honestly say I have never considered suicide because I was gay. Even during the years of inner struggle, and even some self-hatred, never once did that thought occur to me. For that, I want to thank my mother and my family. Their love and support have meant so much to me.

However, not everyone has been as blessed as I have. For that reason, we must continue to lookout for one another. Yes, I do mean the gay community, but I also mean all mankind. We must remember that we are all in this battle against hatred together; gay, straight, man, woman......No one deserves to be hated because of who they are, or how they were born.